What if you could feel enough inner safety to parent and uphold boundaries in a way that breaks the cycle?
You logically know you can tackle your challenge, but your nervous system disagrees.
You can manifest, change your thought patterns, follow the quick hacks Instagram parenting “experts” are telling you to do, even do somatic exercises all you want — none will actually help you go through your upcoming challenge with ease if you haven’t FIRST desensitized your nervous system from that challenge.
Let’s build your foundation of inner safety together.
You logically know how to parent positively and what boundaries look like…
… But your body hasn’t been connecting to what you logically know.
Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn activate despite your best efforts. Despite all the books you read and all the courses you took.
This is not because you’re not trying hard enough - it’s because your nervous system goes into survival mode, making it impossible to connect with all the knowledge you hold in your logical thinking brain.
Do you …
… yell even though you know you shouldn’t?
… use threats to get your child to do what you want them to do?
… turn into a total people-pleaser when your child refuses to do as you asked them?
… revert back to being a scared little girl when your parents or in-laws completely ignore your boundaries and your family’s needs?
… have trouble co-regulating and repairing with your child when they’re emotionally dysregulated (in a tantrum or meltdown)?
If you feel like you logically know how to get through your parenting challenge but your body is telling you it’s about to brace for impact, we need to show your nervous system how it can remain safe, allowing you to embody the present-day adult that you truly are.
I’ve helped hundreds of people stuck in old patterns feel the nervous system safety they need to get out of survival mode and feel safe when confronted to their challenge.
It can happen your you too - once we uncover your unique nervous system needs.
This is what coaching with me looks like:
First :
We establish a plan for: WHICH grounding tool to use and WHEN to use them to increase your chances of staying in your logical (or adult) thinking brain.
We tell your inner scanner for safety and threat (neuroception) that there are no threats in the language it understands.
SPOILER: This has nothing to do with applying grounding tools the moment you get triggered - it’s already too late. We want to remain proactive.
Second:
We desensitize from a future moment putting you at risk of a trauma trigger. Next time your child throws a tantrum, next time your mother-in-law ignores what you said, next time your child does something you could never imagine doing growing up.
We get your nervous system to understand, on a physical level, what is required of it to go through the challenging moment as effectively as possible.
The goal: make your nervous system bored by the challenge. Because boredom = safety.
Third:
We get you to cultivate inner safety even more - with the development of an internal safe resource.
The goal: get you to proactively connect with the safe resource multiple times per week (ideally once per day but not necessarily) so that you enlarge your window of tolerance.
Enlarging the window of tolerance: to get your nervous system to feel enough inner safety to be annoyed and frustrated, but without the need to go in fight/flight/freeze/fawn. This ensures that you are able to intervene in a way that is aligned with who you truly are.
You will be signalling to your nervous system that: you’re your own safe adult, you validate your own emotions, you provide reassurance to yourself, you will not wait until something explodes for you to meet your emotional needs.
I’m Danik - let me tell you how Fawn mode used to run the show in my parenting.
When my first child was born, an energetic and intense little boy, I thought: I will be the BEST mom and I will do everything in my power for him to be attached to me.
➡️ I grew up in an environment where I was not attached to my own mom
➡️ I grew up thinking my mom didn’t do enough to emotionally support her kids
➡️ I didn’t give myself permission to ever have tantrums or meltdowns because I (subconsciously) wasn’t sure a safe adult could hold me in my most difficult times.
So I thought: I’m going to be the MOST patient, MOST loving, MOST present mom.
🫣 But then my son turned 2 and the Terrible Twos hit EXTREMELY hard.
I could not maintain boundaries with my son to save my life.
His BIG emotions scared me - pulling me right back to childhood trauma:
➡️ Big emotions = dangerous
So I would give in. You want the blue cup even though it’s in the dishwasher? Let me stop the dishwasher for you to clean it. You keep throwing toys around? I guess that’s not too bad.
I read all the books. Did all the parenting programs. Did all the trauma courses. Nothing worked. I felt like a failure.
🧠 But then came strategic nervous system work, and everything changed.
I understood:
✅ The importance of providing nervous system safety PROACTIVELY (before any triggers arise)
✅ The importance of desensitization (essentially preparing your nervous system to feel safe ahead of a challenging time)
✅ The importance of proactively validating + reassuring ourselves
🧠❤️ The coaching method was born, using Polyvagal and EMDR inspired techniques.
Here is what others have to say :
Morgan Pommells, @morganpommells
“Every time I felt stuck or overwhelmed, Danik had the clarity and expertise to guide me. Whenever I’m ready to take bold, scary steps in my practice as a therapist and coach, Danik is the first person I turn to.”
Emilie Avon-Green, @authentic_living_with_emilie